I Suck At Volleyball
I'm tall for a girl, a little over 5'8". I'm a large person, but I can swim a mile, walk a mile, cycle a mile--and recently have done so on the same day, even. I was athletic as a teenager and young adult, and in my prime spent hours each day playing soccer (which was/is an obsession).
However, this afternoon, I learned a very important fact: I suck at volleyball.
It *looks* fun. It really does. And it is! I totally enjoyed myself. But I suck. I actually did get the ball over the net the last time I served, but it was about ten feet outside the poles. I have grass burns on my elbows, not from a heroic dive to punch up a ball for someone to spike, but from falling on my ass just trying to track the ball when it whizzed over my head. I did manage not to twist a knee or ankle, but I think that's only because God takes care of fools and children, or so my grandmother always told me.
I wasn't a total waste. I returned volleys pretty well, especially after Billy, this very handsome and sweaty gentleman on my team (sweaty from running his num-nums off to cover my shots) started calling out my name every time the ball was about to hit me between the eyes. Or on the top of the head, which I know it did at least twice. And we won one of the two games we played, though certainly not because I served twice (under net, beside net), tripped over a water bottle, bashed myself in the face with my sizeable chest portion, or watched two balls bounce on the ground beside me--with my hands in beautiful ready position, I might add.
My team was very tolerant and good-natured. As for Billy, well, this is a young adult website, so I will behave with my comments about that sweet gorgeous chiseled hunk of patient, kind man. And I can still walk, albeit with a limp, and I didn't actually bite a hole in my tongue when that last ball hit me upside the jaw. I just thought I did.
Next time, what say I try something I might be good at, liiiii-iiiiike...karaoke?
::sound of screaming, people stampeding out of room::
However, this afternoon, I learned a very important fact: I suck at volleyball.
It *looks* fun. It really does. And it is! I totally enjoyed myself. But I suck. I actually did get the ball over the net the last time I served, but it was about ten feet outside the poles. I have grass burns on my elbows, not from a heroic dive to punch up a ball for someone to spike, but from falling on my ass just trying to track the ball when it whizzed over my head. I did manage not to twist a knee or ankle, but I think that's only because God takes care of fools and children, or so my grandmother always told me.
I wasn't a total waste. I returned volleys pretty well, especially after Billy, this very handsome and sweaty gentleman on my team (sweaty from running his num-nums off to cover my shots) started calling out my name every time the ball was about to hit me between the eyes. Or on the top of the head, which I know it did at least twice. And we won one of the two games we played, though certainly not because I served twice (under net, beside net), tripped over a water bottle, bashed myself in the face with my sizeable chest portion, or watched two balls bounce on the ground beside me--with my hands in beautiful ready position, I might add.
My team was very tolerant and good-natured. As for Billy, well, this is a young adult website, so I will behave with my comments about that sweet gorgeous chiseled hunk of patient, kind man. And I can still walk, albeit with a limp, and I didn't actually bite a hole in my tongue when that last ball hit me upside the jaw. I just thought I did.
Next time, what say I try something I might be good at, liiiii-iiiiike...karaoke?
posted by WriterChick at 7:55 PM
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